Often, we tend to see the bad traits of people. We then, without realizing it, view them in a negative sense. Think about someone you know or have met that you did not really like very much. Why was that? Were they different than you? Was it based on your first impression?
I remember being very critical about a telemarketer that called me about a book of mine that I had published. I was talking to a friend about it afterwards and complained about what took place on the call. She is someone that sees the good in everyone. After we discussed the situation, I see where I could have handled the call in a more positive manner. I am not saying that I would have bought what she was selling, but I could have been fairer to her in my approach. I, also, could have used the opportunity to coach her as to the reasons that I was not taking her up on her offer so that she could be better prepared for future calls.
It is said best in Matthew 7:1-5. Judge not, that you will not be judged. For with the judgement you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you seek the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not realize the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, “Let me take the speck out of your eye,” when there is a log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.
I have a judgmental personality. That tends to block my view of the full person that I meet or talk to. Especially if you meet someone for the first time, consider the fact that you do not know what kind of a day that they are having. You do not know what is going on in their lives. They may be going through a difficult time at work. Their relationships with family members or friends may be struggling. In the case of the telemarketer, she was probably just doing the job in the way that she was trained. She did not deserve the way that I handled the phone call. Different personality traits play into this as well, but that is a topic that I will save for another post.
Take the time to see the good in people. Learn about their interests. I tend to talk too much about myself and it makes me feel good. Try doing this with others. Get them to talk about themselves and it will allow them to have that same feeling. I am sure that you will learn about them more and see the good in them. It will take a conscious effort on the part of a lot of us. We need to focus on looking for what is good about them.
What situations come into your mind as you think about people that you have judged poorly? How could have you handled yourself differently? There are good things about every person we meet. We need to look for those things and let them know we notice them.
Cheers